You know it's bad when even the commentators are bored. I can't believe I just sat through the entire FA cup final. I know it's always like that - both sides are just too afraid of conceeding a goal that they just can't risk actually trying to score one - madness! You'll be two down before you know it! No team ever won by doing that. I used to give my Dad rather withering looks when he suggested they should make the goals bigger but I totally agree with him now. And maybe some sort of jellified gyroscope inside the ball so it moves and swerves unpredictably. I think if it's 0-0 at full time then neither team gets to win the trophy - they should just be sent home in disgrace. Maybe all the kids who walk out with the players during the opening ceremony could play it out. All rather embarassing as well for the new Wembley - we waited all that time and spent all that money just to watch this? The Roman solution to all this, as we learned this week when that gladiator graveyard was unearthed, was that if you were deemed too wet and boring to watch you would be savagely butchered for the pleasure of the baying croud. Putting the sheer derangedly mental bloodlust to one side, there is a lot to be said for having the rules of the game encourage excitement and showmanship, rather than dull, grinding attrition.